Saturday, June 13, 2009


RACTAR stands for Rumah Amal Cahaya Tengku Ampuan Rahimah =)

It is just in the area of Summit, Giant and Mydin near my home.
Fortunately, I was given the opportunity to do what I have planned before the summer holidays came; doing volunteer work =)
There are only girls in RACTAR, all from the range from 3 year olds to form 4 students. There are a total of around 40 something students.
So far, everything has been going fine with my time spent there. Of course at the beginning, we were a little shy to greet one another. But as time passed by, the barrier broke down =)

It really is interesting to see the many different personalities of the students there, as well as getting to know each and every one of them =)

Some were a little more quite, but when she was within her good friends, I really see her talk a lot =) Some were naturally willing to share and ask a zillion questions XD
I even had a std 5 girl, ask me a lot of things; but mostly related to my religion XD For example, she would ask me; Akak solat tak dekat US? Akak belajar pakai tudung dari mana? Tau baca Al-Qur'an tak? Akak nak kahwin orang mcm mane? Org yg beriman ke, yg tak pndg perempuan ke..
Haha it was surprising, but at the same time funny to really get these tough questions from a std5 girl XD She even said that she liked wearing the tudung (head scarf/hijab) which is really2 rare to find a person like her! =)
There was this one time where they found out that I loved to draw, and the news spread really quickly; I came one day and saw everyone with at least a paper and a pen/pencil for me to draw on XD Unfortunately, the warden scolded them (and me as well hihi) because I was doing them a favor~ which I don't find burdensome at all =)
There are also around 6 or 7 girls, who are not even in pre-school, but they are already living there. I only heard that some of them were from broken families. All of them are really cute and adorable. Of course, they might be naughty at times, but I find it natural for small children to behave as such =) Besides, we should be worrying if they weren't curious about everything, aite?
Anisha is one of them. She is the youngest of her 3 siblings there, and also an Indian Muslim =) She often come to me and hug my legs, and even repeat her silly acts which I find funny simply to watch me laugh =) There was once where she was looking and 'investigating' my bracelet and watch that I was wearing, then she suddenly asked me something; "Akak, tangan akak takde bulu ke?"
Alright, I won't lie. I certainly burst into laughter XD I told her yes I do, and she double checked me hand and said "takde pooonn" hahahaha adoooi XD
I even got the opportunity to 'babysit' her for a while; I managed to bring her to the toilet for both occasions... ;p ;p

I had always had this fear of really interacting with babies and small children. Not really a FEAR like lari bila jumpa kanak2 kecik, but when my younger sister was a baby, she would cry whenever I just carried her XD (I don't know why haha) So, you get the idea XD I wouldn't want to make babies cry XD
But Alhamdulillah, the smaller children here do not cry (so far haha) when I play with them. I really felt a little bit like their mother as well, when they came to me. Asking me for help to open their sweets and chocolates. Helping them at the toilet and helping them wear their pants again =)
There was even this one time when I came to Ractar as usual, and the small children were playing together. When they saw me, they only smiled at first. But then, when I raised my hand to salam them, all of them came running to me. I had this one feeling of happiness that I could not explain at that very moment =)
So far, those are the experiences that I have had at Ractar =) I'm sure I'll have more until the time I fly back to US. I'll surely miss them when the time comes.. =)

Friday, June 12, 2009

06/12/2009; Kem motivasi at RACTAR! =)

Assalamualaikum =)
Today, Friday, was spent being together with kanak2 RACTAR from morning at 8.30am to 10pm roughly =)
Though it was a long day, I did not really feel tired at all. I must guess that Cikgu Epul n Kak Mizah and Kak Izah were extremely exhausted as they did a really great job! I was only there to be a fa-c n help out wherever I can =)
The morning started off with fun activities by Cikgu Epul (not forgetting his hellos and ehem2 trademarks to get attention XD) Then we, the fa-cs had to introduce ourselves and had our own trademark. The only thing I could come up with within 2 minutes was *clap3* caiyok~ganbate!(while jumping) but I'm glad all the girls did it with me hehehe XD

*From top:Sumayyah, Mariam, Halimatun Saa'diah, Balqis

We then made names, logos and trademark of our own for each group. Mine was group 2;Balqis: Nadia, Aida, Fizah, Qilah, Zulaikha and Nurul =) (I hope I didn't mispell their names) They were great, and we really had fun working together! Keunggulan Sepanjang Zaman~ Okie la tuu!(trademark) XD
In the afternoon, we had around 45 minutes to really ask sensitive details of your group members. I managed to get little details. I do not expect them to really tell everything, but I'm glad that most of them came here because they wanted to. However, the stories are still never easy on the ears.
Soon I shared my part of the story as well. Simply put, I told them to be confident with themselves. Not everyone who has both parents are perfect, therefore they should not look down upon themselves simply because they have a tragic past.
Moving on! =) We then had lunch (nasi wif ayam goreng n sayur~ SEDAPP!!) n continued on with activities; building a building with only newspapers. NO glue or whatsoever! =D and we managed to witness many interesting shapes, and then the fa-cs tested the stability of the building by THROWING HUGE BALLS OF NEWSPAPER~ to our buildings we built! NOO!! XD But it turns out ours was the most stable! YAY!! XD

*The first one from the right is the one my group made~ good job Balqis!! XD

Before dinner, I went up to Kak Izah and Kak Midah's room to rest. Since the rest of the girls were the only ones upstairs, I could open my tudung. And once one gets to see me without tudung, the rest will come running to the room just to see me without it adooiii XD* Dah la tengok ramai2, mcm ade pameran plak aiyook segan2!! XD

Night eventually came, and it was muhasabah diri time (is this how u spell it?) And Cikgu Epul managed to pull out a good one! =) Many did shed tears, and I was also given the opportunity to give some last words about the activity today.
I thanked them for their cooperation, and hope that they learn something from today. Encouraged them to change; though it may not be easy, and it will DEFINITELY won't be easy, but never impossible =) So I hope they do change~ it is for no one else, but for themselves =)
At the end, we kissed n hugged each other after salaming =) Since I may not be seeing the others who are not Form 1 and Form 2, many asked for my phone number, and even managed to grab hold of my passport+driving liscence earlier punya gamba haha kelakarnya XD


Some of them were even reluctant to leave the room because they might only see me next week, perhaps on Sunday. This I will not forget =)


I even received a heartwarming letter from Nadia, a std 5 student =)

Will not forget this experience.
I really find myself bonding with the Ractar students, and I believe that they do feel the same way =) They are already like my own family.
I'll really miss them once I get back in USA =)
*The few of the many students of RACTAR =)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Video =)

Assalamualaikum! =D
Just recently, my mother asked me for videos of the Raja Lawak Nabil that I had in my laptop (I got the videos from my friend =D) and I gladly gave her the videos. I also gave her additional videos such as music videos of Jason Mraz, a Malay guy singing the song Ariq and had a wonderful voice, and a few more videos as well. One of them was a video I downloaded from Youtube: Surah Ar-Rahman.
The video had translations in English, as well as how to pronounce the Quran verses (they wrote it in rumi) and the reciter had the most beautiful voice that I have ever heard.
Just then, my mother thanked me for the videos, especially the additional ones.
As she proceded to comment on all the additional videos she had heard, she gave a comment on the video of Surah Ar-Rahman. She said that just hearing it for 1 or 2 minutes gave her teary eyes. She quickly stopped the video though, saying that she will listen back to it when no ones around (tamo nangis2 depan org maa XD)
I was very2 happy about this. I have heard about events where a Gangster heard people reciting the Quran, and it brought tears to his eyes. A gangster! =D He said that eventhough he did not understand the languange, his heart did. Alhamdulillah, he turned into Islam =)
Knowing that mama is a Chinese Muslim, with not much roots of Islam like most of us are blessed to have since we were young, this is certainly a precious event for me, and I hope it is for her as well =)
Mama, I love you! =)

Another new blog?? XD

Assalamualaikum w.b.t =)
Yes2 here we are at the third blog (brape byk blog budak ni nak bwat??)
Hahaha it just so happens that I realised something very important, which made me want to write and create my third blog at Blogger =)
I had always told myself and everyone else, that writing a diary is suicidal if someone that is not suppose to read it READS IT! XD Therefore I have always refused to write a diary in any form at all. Including blogging. (if sumone that's not suppose to read ur blog reads it.. sama je mcm diary hahaha XD) That's why I have only created the 1st n 2nd blog of mine for certain purposes only! =)
I am also aware that I am a very forgetful person. VERY VERY VERY FORGETFUL! I am capable of hearing something u said and totally forgetting it the very next second. Even so, I find it beneficial in forgetting really2 bad n bitter memories. I've had very very unfortunate events which actually broke my heart really2 bad. But now, I could not even recall what actually happened, nor the pain that my heart went through =) This is actually very very good! XD I do not have to recall the stress and pain that made my life miserable no more =)
However, I have just recently realised something. It is a very good thing that I have forgotten the really2 bad memories, however... So are the sweet ones. I may be able to recall the very2 important events, but~ acknowledging my very 'good' memory, I will not be able to remember everything, or perhaps the most important thing that happened during that event which actually made the memory sweet.
Oleh yang demikiaann (haha tiba2 BM!) I made a decision to finally write my very own 'diary'; this third blog =) BUT!! Syarat2nya~ Only sweet memories, and those that I can share with the world =) And ultimately, the memories that actually made my heart, mind and soul really happy. =)
I hope that by writing this blog, I will be able to at least preserve some of the sweet memories that I have experienced, or will be experiencing in the future. I don't think I would want to forget them =)
Till then, happy reading the sweet memories of mine! =D
*~*~Iliani*~*~ =)